Clown Apocalypse
Clown
Apocalypse
Tim Miller
Copyright © 2015 Tim Miller
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright laws.
Cover model Hayley Clinton aka Pieces the Clown
Part 1
A History of Clowns
We all know what clowns are. Some of us are terrified of clowns while others find them funny and a great source of amusement; online, a whole subculture exists of people who love scary or sexy clowns. We see them at circuses, birthday parties and on TV. The clowns that society knows are simply people dressed in silly costumes, wearing grease paint, and wigs dancing around making balloon animals and giggling while spreading cheer and joy to all the children.
This story isn't about those clowns. This story is about another classification of clown all together. These clowns are not human. They are born as clowns; hideous clowns that they grow and live among us, hiding in circuses and carnivals. Most of them have dwelled in special Funhouses hidden throughout the country. Needless to say, if you came upon and entered one of these 'special Funhouses', you would not be reading this today.
We first met these clowns in the story "Welcome to Happytown" and encountered various versions of them. Little is known of their origin but what has been established is a large company known as Jericho Systems once tried to study and even weaponized these clowns. They learned the hard way this was not possible in less the results were intended to be disastrous. Instead, Funhouses erected to keep the clowns occupied and contained.
These building proved to be of significant success, clowns contained and content. The purpose of the Funhouses was to give these clowns a place to wreak unimaginable havoc on unsuspecting travelers, vagrants, or anyone else passing through. The clowns would 'trick' the visitors entering then expose them to a variety of traps, rodents, and various torture devices. Most were brutally killed in the process, and the rest turned into these wretched clowns, but only one person was ever known to survive.
Mad Maxwell was a special sort of clown. While just as little is about his past as the clowns themselves, he's become a mythological figure in the world of the clowns and Jericho. Very few have seen him and most who do never live to tell about it. He's more dangerous than he is crazy, but describing him as ruthless would be a gross understatement. He thrives on human pain and suffering and relishes in the screams and agonies of his victims.
For almost two centuries, Mad Maxwell has traveled the countryside doing his deeds wherever he could without drawing too much attention to himself. He managed to stay out of sight for decades until recently. Mad Maxwell had popped up in Dallas, Texas in a direct assault on Jericho. Though his attempt failed, he did create through Jericho's technology his love interest and protégé, Icy Kate. Kate managed to escape Jericho, but Maxwell, unfortunately, did not.
During his time in Jericho custody, Mad Maxwell would sit, think and plan for the day he would see freedom again. In the meantime, Kate went about her business engaging in her own, special, wild clown activities. This tale is one of woe and terror; this is the story of the atrocious duo of Mad Maxwell and Icy Kate.
Chapter 1
Nolan Collinsworth sat looking at his empty inbox on his laptop screen. He wasn't sure why it was bothering him today. It had remained empty for quite some time. Nolan was an actor, at least had been an actor at one time. When he was eight, he starred in the cult horror film, "Family Night" where he played a cannibalistic six-year-old. That film had become a cult hit, much to everyone's surprise and he had made some money off. However, over time that well had begun to dry up.
Problem was, he was forty-five years old now and hadn't had a real acting role since then. He'd done some reality shows and had a few small roles in some indie horror films. There was a film he'd starred in a decade ago; this was supposed to be his triumphant return to the big screen. He played a slasher with a complicated back-story.
The killer had been a schoolteacher who had been falsely accused of molesting students. After being fired and going to prison, he returned as the Headmaster. He wore the skin of a severed head as he hacked and slashed his former administrators one by one. It had been a blast to film, and things had mostly gone smoothly. Plus, the job had paid well. It would have paid even better on the back end according to his contract.
Problem was, some of the investors had accused one of the producers of embezzling money. The director was fired just before filming wrapped and the lawsuits began flying. The investors were suing the producers who were suing the director who was suing all of them. Ultimately, it never got distribution. It has been sitting in limbo ever since while many of the lawsuits were still going through the courts.
His last gig had been two years ago on a reality show called "Celebrity Fat Ass." While he could stand to lose twenty pounds or so, he figured this would be a good way to do it and make some money in the process. Boy was that a mistake. The pay was pretty good. Except the show was determined to humiliate the "fat asses" as much as possible.
They had fitness trainers from hell that did nothing but scream at them the whole time. Then they had events like cake wrestling. All he wore was a pair of tights while he wrestled with the kid who played one of Mikey's friends from the old Life cereal commercials. The kid never actually spoke and was on camera almost two seconds, but that bought him a gig on "Celebrity Fat Ass" by the age of 50.
The purpose of the cake wrestling was supposedly to help them fight their temptation over cake. Moreover, after rolling around in it, they were supposed to be disgusted by it. Pretty much every challenge was like that. The rest of the show was them running on treadmills, climbing ropes, and biking, all while throwing up and being screamed at. It was the worst experience of his life. He got thirty grand for ten weeks of hell, so it wasn't a total loss.
After that, the gigs started to dissipate. He'd had some offers to appear at some comic book and horror conventions, but he had no desire to enter into that kind of atmosphere. Sitting at a table taking selfies with people and selling photos. Then he'd have to talk about being Jeffrey from "Family Night" again like that was all he could ever be in life. He didn't want that. He was an actor and needed to act, though, at this point he was wondering if he could still act.
Maybe he should try one. Some of them had offered decent money. He picked up the phone and dialed his agent, Pierce Pritchard.
"Nolan! Baby boy! How's it goin' mate?" Pierce asked in his authentically thick English accent. He'd been Nolan's agent for the last fifteen years. He wasn't sure if Pierce was actually from England; it was kind of a thing for people to do in L.A. in an attempt to sound more intelligent than they were.
"Hey, Pierce. Not bad. You mentioned some convention bookings before. I know you'd bugged me about taking them."
"Yes! Yes! I just had one come in. They had a last minute cancelation. Let's see." Nolan could hear the sound of Pierce typing on his keyboard. "Yes, here it is. Permian Basin Horror Fest. It's in Odessa, Texas."
"Odessa, Texas?" Nolan asked. "Where the fuck is that?"
"Well, in Texas I would imagine."
"Yeah no shit. I mean, I never heard of it. Is it a small town? What's out there?"
"Only steers and queers partner!" Pierce said in a horrible Texan enunciation. He sounded more like a wounded Mexican.
"Cute. Isn't there anything out here? I don't want to go clear to Texas."
"Not anytime soon. This is for next week. They wil
l pay your guarantee along with your travel, hotel and per diem."
"Really? That's pretty good. Who is the promoter?"
"Umm, I'm looking," Pierce said. "I guess it's some lesbian couple."
"What do you mean?"
"Email is signed Chris and Casey Slatox or something like that. Sounds like two chicks."
"Or the guy could be Chris," Nolan said.
"A guy could be Casey too. I don't know, doesn't matter anyway. Don't be such a cunt."
"Ok, fine. Set it up."
"You got it," Pierce said as he hung up.
Nolan closed his laptop and walked to the fridge that was almost empty. He'd been running low on cash, so this convention is certainly needed. Not to mention it might make a nice little vacation. Being treated like a celebrity for a few days would be nice. Plus, if he has fun, maybe he'll do some other conventions and at least bring in some money. He took out a beer, popped the top, and took a huge slug. He sat down and wondered what he should pack.
Chapter 2
Kate was bored. This was not a new development. She was bored most of the time. Ever since her transformation, she found it more difficult to keep herself entertained. Such was the life of a clown. Icy Kate was a real clown, not one of these whackos that smears paint all over themselves and makes stupid shit like balloon animals.
Kate's skin was an awful pasty white, and her lips were bright red. Her hair often changed color on its own, which was weird, but mostly cool. Some days it was green, others red, or just black, occasionally it would transition to a bright white, similar to her skin. She enjoyed that nifty side effect. Trouble was, she didn't remember much before her change. A clown named Mad Maxwell had put her into some kind of machine and she came out like this.
There apparently used to be Funhouses for clowns like her to live in and had lots of fun things to entertain themselves with. Now most of those were dismantled. Thus, life on the street was not the easiest for a clown, but Kate managed. She came up with a nice gig of turning tricks on craigslist. She posted some pics of herself online almost nude, causing her phone to immediately blow up. She had no idea how many men out there had clown fetishes. Sick fuckers. Turned out she could make real good money this way.
Sometimes she even had sex with them if she liked them. Which led her to the next big lesson in life as a clown. It wasn't hard for her to get pregnant, and when she did, a baby clown was born within hours. They'd be fully grown within weeks. She now had her own little gang of clowns to hang with. She might give up turning tricks all together in lieu of just taking what they wanted. Though, she feared drawing too much attention to themselves.
Her brood consisted of Stinky Bob, Ramsey, Kinky Caveman, Corkscrew and Doug. Yes Doug. He came up with his own name and while he was the most fucked up looking of the bunch, he wanted to go by Doug of all things. Kate didn't care. They went where she went. Tonight she had a trick lined up, but there would be no sex or clown-creation. Just some good old fashioned clowning around.
Kate reached the motel and knocked on the door. The door cracked revealing a short, chubby middle-aged man inside. His bald head glistened in the low light as Kate noticed a stain on his wife beater. None of that mattered.
"Hey baby," she said. "You order a sexy clown?"
"Wow!" he said, licking his lips. "Look at you."
"Damn straight baby, I love to clown around if you know what I mean." She ran a finger down his chest. He was quivering at her touch, the guy probably just jazzed in his pants.
"So you gonna let me in? Or are we just gonna flirt here in the doorway?"
He undid the chain lock and opened the door. She stepped inside as her crew appeared from around the corner pushing their way in.
"Hey! What the hell?" he asked as he backed away. "What is this? I didn't order all this?"
"Circus is in town, playboy!" Ramsey yelled as he took the baseball bat he always carried and popped the man in the mouth with it as if it were a pool stick. The man flopped on the bed onto his back as Kate walked up and grabbed the bat from Ramsey.
"Careful with that thing. Don't want to hurt him too much too soon," she said. "Strip him, boys."
The clowns ripped his clothes off as the man weakly struggled, but he was no match for them whatsoever.
"What are you doing? Please don't hurt me!"
"Who has my bag?" Kate asked. Stinky Bob stepped up holding a leather satchel that Kate promptly snatched away; setting it on the bed, she opened it up, removing a drill and several bits. She attached one of the longer bits and revved the drill watching it spin around and around.
"What are you doing?" the man asked. "What are you doing with that?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, baby," she said. "This is going to hurt like a motherfucker."
She revved the drill again and inserted the tip into his kneecap, pressing down as she activated the power tool. The smell of burning bone and flesh filled the air as he screamed while she ran the drill bit through his kneecap, all the way through the back of his knee. She pulled it out and revved it again as chunks of bone and flesh flew off the spinning bit. She began on the other knee, this time he wiggled around much more.
"Hold him still guys!" she shouted over his screams. Once she finished with that leg, he lay there breathing hard while crying.
"Why are you doing this?" he cried.
"Because it's fun! More fun than me letting you stick your sorry little pecker inside of me."
"I—I'm not paying you for this!" he said. Kate burst out laughing at the threat. Of all the things a guy in his predicament could say, he threatens not to pay her?
"Oh it's ok baby. I plan on taking all of your money anyway. You'll be dead so it won't really matter."
She took his flaccid penis in her hands and began stroking it. To her surprise, it grew quite thick and long. It had to be at least six inches.
"Wow, you're much bigger than I thought you'd be," she said. He was still quivering. Kate knew she'd get him hard despite his current trauma. She had a soft touch when it came to cock handling. It was the most fun way to fuck with guys. They get all hard and can't help it, then do something horrible to it and watch them freak the fuck out. Made her giggle every time.
"Please? Please don't hurt me anymore!" he begged as she held the drill bit over his hard cock, placing the tip over his urethra and shoving it in slowly. Her smile grew bigger as she looked at her crew holding him down.
"Do it mom!" Corkscrew said. The others laughed and nodded. "Yeah! Yeah! Do it!"
She nodded and squeezed the trigger as the drill bit spun through his dickhole and the length of his shaft. The man howled as Kate wiggled it around, and the shaft tore free out of the base of his penis. She ripped the drill out and revved it in the man's face as chunks of his dick flew off the drill and into his eyes and mouth.
"You won't be sticking that thing into anyone else now will you?"
The man just stared up at the ceiling silently as she taunted him. For a minute, she thought he had mentally checked out. That is, until she drilled into his testicles.
Chapter 3
Nolan walked through the terminal at Midland airport in Midland, Texas. There was a man in a ball cap holding a sign with his name on it. That must be his ride.
"Hi, I'm Nolan," he said to the man.
"Hey! I'm Chris, good to meet you." Nolan noted Chris was in fact a man.
"Yeah thanks."
"I figured I'd give you a ride myself. Get you all situated."
"Yeah, that's great," Nolan said as they walked out and to his car. On the ride to the hotel, Chris made some small talk but Nolan was tired from the flight. Plus, looking around Midland and Odessa once they arrived, he wondered what people ever did for fun around there. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone in a clown costume? They were right there on the street in broad daylight. When he turned his head, they were gone.
"What's wrong?" Chris asked.
"Did you see that?"
"See what?"
"No, didn't see any clowns. Maybe cosplayers are already dressing up for tomorrow. Gonna be exciting!" Chris said. "I'm honored you chose us as your first convention."
"Thanks. I appreciate the invite."
Once they reached the hotel, Chris got Nolan checked in who went up to his room. It was a nice hotel, not the Ritz-Carlton but nicer than what he was used to. He walked over and looked out the window where he could see the town. He could see Ratliff Stadium from the window. That was where Permian High School played their football games. He'd seen a movie about them years ago.
Part of him was looking forward to the convention, but the another part was dreading it. He'd never liked crowds, but at this point in his career, he'd be happy to have a small crowd around him. When he was younger, crowds followed him almost everywhere. Over the years, the crowds got smaller and smaller. Now he was lucky if a photographer from TMZ was watching him come out of the bathroom.
He went down to the hotel lobby and headed outside. Across the street was a small bar. Nolan figured he could use a beer. He went inside, sat down at the bar, and ordered a Bud Light. The bartender put the bottle in front of him, and Nolan gave him exact change, prompting an eye roll from the bartender. He may be a celebrity, but he was a broke one.
As he nursed the beer, he noticed a couple girls in the corner looking at him, giggling. They apparently recognized him. He smiled and nodded to them. It had been awhile since he'd run into any groupie types. In L.A., he was just another has been. In Odessa, Texas, he apparently still was a celebrity. Maybe there was something to this convention thing.
When he looked up, one of the girls was coming toward him with a big smile on her face. Her friend was trailing behind her. He figured a threesome just might make his night. If that happened, he vowed he'd never leave Odessa.