Clown Apocalypse Read online

  Damien looked around and found an old folding chair in the corner. He walked over and grabbed it, setting it up in front of the barricade. He hoped this wouldn't take long.

  "Ok, I'm sitting. Now tell me what you need to. I need to find her before she kills again."

  "Oh she'll kill again before you find her," Mad Maxwell said. "Just get used to that fact. Now where to begin. I guess from the beginning. We'll start with my birth. It was just over two hundred years ago. Clowns were almost extinct back then. Luckily, a few clever ones managed to save us all. This is how..."

  Chapter 8

  Nolan arrived at the convention center Saturday morning. He after a rough few hours, he ended up sleeping pretty well and was excited to start day two of the horror fest. As he walked to his table and took his seat, he was pleased to see there were no clowns in the building. He wasn't sure what it was about those particular clowns, especially the girl clown whose tits he signed, but something seemed off.

  They didn't seem like "normal" clowns. Though to him, there was no such thing as a normal clown. All clowns were evil spawns of the devil as far as he was concerned, and he had no idea why anyone would want to dress like that. Needless to say, he would not be dressing like a clown...ever. Not even if he were offered the role of a lifetime.

  His line was even longer than Friday's when he arrived. He sat and began signing right away. He was sure he'd made more than his guarantee, so the money he'd make from this show would be good. Pierce was right all along. It was time he stopped sitting around hoping for some big role and started working the convention circuit.

  After a few hours, his wrist was getting sore, so he decided to take a break. He stood and headed to the green room where he noticed one of the clowns. This was a new one he hadn't seen before. He was skipping around and had what looked like a bright colored croquet mallet. Nolan stood and watched as the clown danced around waving it all over. The dance reminded him of the one Leatherface did at the end of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

  Soon several more clowns joined him, including the girl clown. Today she was holding a large pink baseball bat. He was surprised they let them in the convention with stuff like that. She was skipping along and even looked Nolan's direction and winked at him. They scooted past as Nolan decided against his better judgment to see what they were up to.

  One of them bent down and made a balloon animal for a child. The others stopped and posed for pictures with some fans. One man walked up and said something to the girl and the next sequence of events appeared to occur in slow motion.

  The girl clown took her bat, reared back and bashed the man's skull in with a swing that almost knocked his head off his shoulders. The man's body crumpled to the floor as a woman standing nearby screamed. Her scream was silenced by a knife one of the clowns threw as if it were a ninja-throwing star. The male clowns all ran off in different directions, and sealed the exits as people began screaming and running for cover. The girl clown continued running around bashing anyone and everyone she could with the bat.

  Nolan ran toward the green room but saw the clown with the throwing knives was there flinging them at anyone who was nearby. People were falling left and right as blood was beginning to cover the floor. Some folks were slipping and sliding in the pooled blood. Nolan looked around and dove under a nearby vendor table. He lay face down as he listened to the commotion around him as people screamed and ran for their lives.

  After a minute, Chris, and a pretty blue haired girl crawled under the table next to him.

  "Dude, what the fuck is going on?" Nolan asked.

  "I don't know. These clowns, they just started attacking people. I don't know who they are." Chris said.

  "Doesn't someone here have a gun? This is Odessa, Texas." The woman said. Nolan looked at her confused.

  "This is my wife, Casey," Chris said. "And no one has guns here because we have a metal detector and security checking cosplay weapons."

  "How'd that clown get those throwing knives in?" Nolan asked.

  "I saw one on the floor after he threw it. They're some kind of thick plastic. Metal detector didn't pick them up."

  "Fuck."

  "You should have let people bring their guns," Casey said.

  "Yeah, thanks. I'll remember that if we survive this bullshit."

  "Ladies and gentleman!" A girl's voice boomed over the PA system. It was no doubt the girl clown. "My name is Icy Kate, but you can call me Kate if I don't kill you first! Haha! Me and my family here are now in charge of this show. We may or may not kill all of you. We will definitely hurt each and every one of you badly. So just let that sink in and accept it. So now! Who wants to go first?"

  The convention center had gone quiet except for a few people sobbing.

  "Anyone? Going once! Going twice! Last chance or we pick someone!" Kate said over the PA, but no one was about to volunteer to be an act in her demented circus. The sound of footsteps grew louder as Nolan noticed a pair of clown shoes getting closer and closer. He put his head down and held his breath fearing they were coming for him.

  Casey screamed as she slid backward out from under the table.

  "No!" Chris yelled as he grabbed her hand. He held on as long as he could until the croquet mallet came down smashing Casey's hand, breaking their grip. Chris started for her, but Nolan grabbed him by the arm, stopping him.

  "Don't man. They'll kill both of you," Nolan said.

  "Get off me! That's my wife!"

  "Look around! How many people did they just kill in about two minutes?"

  "Fuck!" Chris said as he pounded his fists into the ground while the clown dragged Casey to Kate in the middle of the convention floor.

  "Here she is! Our first contestant!" She held the mic in front of Casey. What is your name honey?"

  "C-C-Casey," she said.

  "Casey! Sounds like Kate. What a pretty name! I love your hair. Is your hair really blue?"

  Casey shook her head rapidly.

  "Gotta speak up honey. Our fans can't hear you shaking your head."

  "Um, no."

  "Well, I still love it. But why are you so sad? You're so pretty, and you're crying."

  Casey put her head down as she began sobbing.

  "Oh, it's ok. I can help you with that," Kate said as she dropped the mic and wrapped her arm around Casey's neck. Casey tried to struggle but Kate was too strong. Kate held up the knife and stuck it in Casey's mouth and began slicing along her cheeks. She slashed each of Casey's cheeks open from ear to ear, making a fake, but permanent smile. Blood oozed from the new wound as Casey cried and heaved. The flaps of skin on her cheeks flopped back and forth with each breath. Kate released her grip, and Casey fell to her knees.

  "Now there's a pretty smile!" she squealed as the other clowns laughed and clapped. Kate straddled Casey, bent down and grabbed a handful of hair. She began slicing along Casey's forehead. Casey screamed and put her hands up, trying to fight Kate off, but Kate just applied her weight, pressing Casey to the floor face first. She continued to scream as Kate sliced and ripped Casey's scalp from her head. When she was finished, the top of Casey's head was bright red, bloody and bare as Casey held up her scalp with the blue hair as if it were some kind of trophy.

  "Yay! Looky what I got! I have too much hair, though. Hey, Stinky Bob, you want to try it on?" A short, bald clown ran over to her smiling and nodding. She handed him the scalp, and he put it on his head, the blue hair dangling in his face as blood from the scalp ran down his forehead. He tossed the hair from side to side as if he were a fashion model.

  "I love the new look, Stinky! I approve!"

  Casey laid on the floor at Kate's feet crying and screaming. Kate looked at her then back to her crew.

  "Will someone shut this bitch up?" she said.

  Ramsey took out one of his plastic throwing knives and threw one at Casey, nailing her square in the forehead, burying the blade several inches into her skull, piercing her brain. She let out one final gasp as she collapsed to the floor.
Under the table, Chris had his head buried as Nolan tried to comfort him. The rage Nolan was feeling was almost too much for him to contain, but he'd been a coward and weakling for so long, all he knew was to hide. Kate picked up the mic and looked around the convention center.

  "Ok folks! Who's next?"

  Chapter 9

  Mad Maxwell stroked his chin while Damien sat and wondered if the clown was wasting his time. He'd have to make a decision soon. There was a very good chance Maxwell was going to stall and fuck around as he had no interest one way or the other if Damien caught Kate. He was probably happy just to have some company. If clowns got lonely anyway, no telling especially with Mad Maxwell.

  "So, I was born in fact. Unlike most clowns, both of my parents were clowns. I wasn't sure how this was possible, but apparently my mom and dad got it on. As is standard, moments later I burst through my mom's belly. I'm guessing she didn't know that would be part of the deal for fucking my father, but from what he'd told me she was a very young clown." Maxwell began.

  "What year was this?" Damien asked.

  "Oh gosh, let me think. It was in the 1800's. Not sure the exact date. I want to say 1840? There were some traveling carnivals back then. That was the only way we had to blend in. Stay with the circuses and carnivals. I hated it. Going out and entertaining those losers. The clowns in my family seemed to love it. I found it boring and stupid. So once I was grown up, I ran away. That didn't go over well with the family, but I didn't care. I lived on the run for years. Those fools said it couldn't be done. I just wore baggy clothes and a floppy hat and no one noticed my face unless I wanted them to."

  "I did kill plenty of people during that time. Look up any unsolved murders between Texas and Arizona until the 1920's. There's plenty of them. I usually killed kids. Families had lots of kids back then, and teenagers were known to run away. Easy pickin's and no one bothered looking for them."

  "Why did you kill them?"

  "Because it was fun! I thought that would be obvious."

  "Sorry, I guess not," Damien said.

  "Well yes, if you haven't figured out by now, I enjoy killing very much. Come the 1920's, Jericho comes along. Yes, they were in business back then. They trapped me in some steel cage like a wild animal with some other clowns. Apparently someone figured out what we were."

  "And just what are you?" Damien asked.

  "I'm a clown of course."

  "Yes, I see that. But you're not a human. Where did you guys come from?"

  "Oh I'm sure you don't have time for that, but I can get to it later. Anyway, so Jericho rounds a bunch of us up and tries to experiment on us. The weaker among us succumbed rather easily and allowed them to cut them open like some science experiment. Some of them were still alive and wide awake as they did it. Brutal stuff, our cages were right there, and we witnessed the whole thing."

  "Well, the stubborn clown that I've always been I wasn't about to just sit around and wait my turn to be cut to pieces. Plus, I'd been observing. These humans at Jericho were smart guys, geniuses! But they were also arrogant. I sat in my cage and cowered, cried and played scared the whole time. When they opened my cage, they took no precautions, just left the door wide open and strolled on in."

  "What did you do?" Damien asked.

  "Oh, I was far stronger than any of them. I beat them all silly and then dissected them with their own surgical instruments. It made quite a mess but was a hella good time!" He smacked the glass as he laughed. "From there I went through and made my way out of Jericho, killing anyone who got in my way. They never caught me again after that. I'm fairly certain they didn't want to. Didn't matter. I moved around, spent some time in Europe, traveling around Ireland and even Norway. Being so pale doesn't stand out as much in those places."

  "In the meantime, Jericho continued to grow and built the Funhouses here for the rest of the clowns. Gave them a nice place to chase their tails and keep them entertained. Kind of like a scratch post for an ornery cat. Except for me, that would never be enough. I spent the next ninety years or so just traveling up and down Europe, occasionally killing when it suited me. I even found some carnivals there to join, but couldn't help but destroying them after some time. I tell you it's like a drug for me."

  "What is?" Damien asked.

  "Chaos, mayhem, death, and carnage. I can't get enough. That's why being stuck in here is so awful. Though I'm old enough to know, I can outlast any cage."

  "So why did you come back?"

  "I'd heard through some little birds what had happened in Happytown. I had to see for myself. At the time, I'd been traveling around South America. So it wasn't so hard to get up that way. Your people sure made a mess of things. Then I met a young lady named Isis and turned her into Icy Kate. You guys managed to catch me again; she got away, and now here we are."

  "Ok, I listened to your little story. You said you could help me find her now."

  "Yes, I did didn't I? Well, let me see what I can find." Maxwell closed his eyes and stood there quietly for a moment. After a minute, he began making snoring sounds.

  "Maxwell!" Damien yelled, losing patience. If Maxwell didn't give him something, he might never find her without finding another pile of bodies. Mad Maxwell's eyes snapped open as Damien yelled.

  "Haha, yes sorry. Just messing around. I found her. I hadn't used the whole mind tracking thing in a long time. I guess it still works. Just like riding a bike!"

  "Fine! Where is she?"

  "You're going to love this. She went back to Happytown. I'm guessing to rebuild the Funhouse. I couldn't talk to her, just see her is all."

  "Happytown?"

  "Yes, sir!"

  "You're sure."

  "Scouts honor!" Maxwell said as he raised his right hand.

  "If you're lying to me, I will come back here and kill you myself."

  "I believe you!"

  "All right. Thank you, I guess." Damien stood and ran out of the room and to the elevator. He got to his car as fast as he could. It was several hours to Happytown. No telling what kind of damage Kate might do by then. As he got in the car and drove away, he didn't give Mad Maxwell another thought. Which was a good thing since at the same time Mad Maxwell was in his cell using his long fingernail to cut through the material keeping him captive.

  Chapter 10

  "Any takers? We need another volunteer!" Kate screamed into the mic. Nolan still had his hand on Chris' arm, but Chris was trying to pull away. He'd stopped and cried for a second after watching the murder of his wife. Her lifeless body lie in the middle of the convention floor caused Chris to quiver and turn away. Finally, Chris yanked his arm hard, pulling away from Nolan. Once his arm was free, before Nolan could react, Chris was out from under the table and charging the clowns.

  "Chris! No!" Nolan yelled, but he was already upon them. He moved pretty quickly. Fast enough to land a punch on one of the taller clowns and tackled one of the shorter ones. The one he punched looked more amused than hurt as he watched Chris, and the other clown topple to the floor. They rolled around struggling before the one who went by Ramsey grabbed him by the collar, pulling him to his feet.

  "Wow! We have a volunteer!" Kate shouted into the mic. "Oh! He looks so angry! Why the sad face honey?"

  "You killed my wife!" he screamed.

  "Aww, was that your wife? Well, we can't have you all sad. But I don't want to slice your face up, it's such a nice face!"

  "Hey, ma! How about we just keep his face?" Corkscrew asked.

  "Yes! We'll keep his face! Hold him down boys!"

  Ramsey held Chris' arms behind his back as he struggled in vain. Another clown grabbed a handful of hair while Corkscrew took a straight razor out of his pocket and began cutting below his chin, in a straight line up the sides of his cheeks and along his forehead. Chris growled and screamed as Corkscrew kept cutting and pulling on the loose skin until he'd literally ripped Chris' face off. Ramsey let go as Chris collapsed to the ground, somehow still alive and conscious. He lay there moaning as Cor
kscrew pressed Chris's face to his own, using the blood as a sticky glue.

  "Ooga ooga booga! Hahaha!" Corkscrew chuckled as he pranced around with Chris' face as his own. The clown looked even more terrifying with the flesh face pressed up against his clown face. The other clowns sat around laughing hysterically as he pranced around. Beneath them, Chris was on his hands and knees trying to stand. Ramsey caught sight of him and kicked him in the gut, sending him back on his face. More like where his face used to be, now there was just blank and bloody hole.

  Chris took one last deep breath and leaped to his feet letting out a loud scream as he tackled Ramsey, looking even more horrifying than any of the clowns. They stood around in amusement as he punched Ramsey repeatedly, ground and pound style, like a faceless MMA fighter. Doug (who had been standing off to the side quietly), grabbed the croquet mallet from one of the other clowns, reared back as far as he could and caved Chris's head in with one swift blow.

  Chris toppled forward, the only part of him moving was his left foot twitching. Doug took the mallet and continued bashing Chris' head in. He struck over and over until there was nothing but a pile of red soppy and bony mush where his head once was.

  "Wow, well done Doug! You fucked him up good! I'm impressed!" Kate squealed. Doug just nodded and stepped aside, still holding the mallet. "Ok boys. I think it's time to grow out family. What do you think?"

  "Yeah!" they all shouted.

  "Great! Each of you grab a partner, line ‘em up here along these tables. Time for a good old-fashioned orgy, clown style!"

  The clowns ran off in several directions, grabbing women from various hiding places throughout the convention hall. People were hiding under tables, behind displays, and one was hiding under a modified DeLorean. They walked up with their partners and lined them up along the nearest table by Kate and bent them over.