Clown Apocalypse Read online

  "So what do you make of all this?" the Captain asked.

  "Captain," Damien said. "I think it's time you know everything."

  Damien proceeded to tell the Captain everything about Icy Kate, the clowns and Mad Maxwell. He left certain things about Jericho out, but felt like he told enough the Captain should get a good grasp of what he was dealing with. For the most art he seemed to take it ok. Though he stood there silent for the longest time.

  "So you're telling me, a group of non-human clown mutants have taken over this convention in my town? And they're in there killing everyone and making mutant clown babies and are almost impossible to kill which is why they mowed down my SRT team so easily? Is that what you're saying? Tell me, do I have everything correct...Agent!?"

  "Something like that, but yes. These are some seriously mean motherfuckers. Only way to kill them is to blow their heads up or cut their heads off. That is it." Damien said.

  Captain Sutton looked around not sure if he wanted to believe it or not. Nolan didn't believe it, but he saw it. He knew what he saw regardless of what was supposed to be. This was all too real.

  "And you let me send those men in there to be slaughtered?" the Captain said to Damien.

  "I told you not to, if you'd have trusted me then this wouldn't have happened. Either way, nothing we can do now. You can stand there not believing this and be pissed or we can figure something out."

  "What do you suggest?"

  "I suggest we blow up the building."

  Chapter 17

  "Did you see that Maxie? That guy got away!" Kate said.

  "I saw my dear. No worries. We're almost done here. You didn't want just to sit around in here forever did you?" Mad Maxwell said.

  "Of course not, we figured we'd just stop and play."

  "How would you like to have a place you can play around forever? Our own home with people of our kind. No hiding, no Funhouses."

  "That sound amazing Maxie!"

  "Yes it does. Let's make some more babies, shall we? Boys! Round ‘em up!" Maxwell yelled. The clowns ran around grabbing more women. This time the tiny clowns were chasing more of the women and girls. The men in the crowd tried to fight some of them off, only to be brutally dismembered or decapitated. They rounded up the next group of women and proceeded with their violent mating ritual. Within minutes there were ten more baby clowns running around. They began attacking more of the convention goers.

  One guy dressed like Michael Myers had his head ripped off while still in the mask. Another guy dressed like Frankenstein had his own stomach ripped open, the tiny clowns stringing his guts out while the victim watched.

  "This is so much fun!" Kate said.

  "Indeed. Let the little ones eat so they can grow big and strong!"

  They watched for a moment as the little clowns tore through the crowd, ripping up and shredding anyone they got their hands on. The party was interrupted when an explosion sounded on the far side of the building. Even the clowns jumped when the roof blew off as another explosion sounded closer to them. From there the walls and ceiling caved in, crushing a group of people who were standing nearby.

  "Ok boys!" Kate yelled. "Party's over! Let's go!"

  She ran toward the large opening as her family followed behind her. Mad Maxwell chose to casually stroll out. As Kate cleared the rubble and came outside, she was met by gunfire from the dozens of police lined up outside. She dove to the ground and rolled out of the way as bullets ripped through her body. It hurt only a little as she crawled behind a dumpster. Her boys descended on the police, overtaking the closest ones. One clown shoved a cop's own shotgun up his ass and pulled the trigger.

  Another clown found a female cop and bent her over the hood of her squad car and took her from behind. When he was done, she pulled her gun and began firing until her stomach swelled as a baby clown burst from her stomach. The rest of the clowns squealed with laughter. Maxwell came strolling out of the building, but by now no one was even looking. They were shooting and scrambling at the mayhem in the parking lot.

  Kate turned and looked up as one police officer stood behind her.

  "Freeze!" he yelled with his pistol trained on her. "Put your fucking hands up and turn around!"

  Kate raised her hands and stood. All this excitement and violence was beginning to arouse her. She'd been aroused already from the games inside the convention. The total mayhem was about to put her over the edge.

  "Hey copper," she said. "You ever made it with a clown?"

  "Shut up," he said. He removed his handcuffs with one hand and slowly approached her with the other hand on his gun. "You're under arrest. Don't move." He placed his hand on her wrist and barely touched the cuff to her when she spun around, taking his handcuffs from him while knocking the gun from his hand. Her speed and strength were no match for his. She swung the cuffs like a weapon and knocked him to the ground. She straddled him as he looked up at her horrified. She leaned down, undoing some of the buttons from her shirt, exposing her bare white breasts.

  "What's wrong sweetie? Never seen a pair of clown titties?" She sat up and played with her tits, squeezing them in her hands as she moaned. "My pussy is so wet. You wanna eat my pussy for me copper?"

  He vigorously shook his head no as she lifted her mini-skirt. "Oh looky," she said. "It seems I forgot my panties."

  Her legs and pelvis were as white as her face with a small tuft of bright green hair between her legs. She wiggled herself forward and straddled the cop's face. She pressed her pussy into his face until he actually started licking it. The feeling of his tongue on her clown clit sent shivers through her body. She placed her hands on the ground in front of her, grinding herself on his face. Within seconds, she was in the throes of climax, moaning and squealing with delight.

  As she finished, she stood looking down at her unwilling lover. His face no longer looked horrified. Instead, he had a huge smile froze on his face which was now as white as hers.

  "Hey? You ok copper?" she said. The cop began laughing uncontrollably as the smile on his face grew until it was distorted, almost reaching each of his ears. His nose grew into a large red bulb as his hair fell out in patches while turning shades of blue. The cop laughed and laughed as he rolled onto his side. After a minute, the laughter stopped as he stood looking at her. He was no longer the cop she had just assaulted, but was now a clown, just like her boys.

  "Wow! That was awesome!" he said. "Can we go again?"

  Kate wasn't sure what to think as this had never happened before. He was still in his uniform, and bent down to pick up his gun while looking at her with his huge, deformed grin.

  "Maybe later honey, you want to help out the boys? Sure, could use ya."

  "Sure!" he said as he held up the gun and bounded away, firing wildly into the air. She watched him skip away as she sat and thought about what had just occurred. If she wasn't mistaken, her pussy juice had just turned this guy into a clown. If that were the case, things just got a whole lot more interesting.

  Chapter 18

  Damien watched as the deputies rigged the charges around the building.

  "I can't believe I'm doing this," Captain Sutton said.

  "Trust me. We need to take them out all at once. You sure those charges are enough? The thing needs to go up in one big ball of fire," Damien said.

  "Deke worked with explosives in Iraq, so he knows what he's doing."

  "I don't doubt that but has he taken down a building this size?"

  "Do you want to set the shit up yourself smart ass?" Sutton said. Damien just stepped away and let the captain stew by himself. They both new this mess could make national headlines if they weren't careful. He'd need to make some calls and get additional Jericho resources out there and help set up a cover story.

  He called in and asked for a task force informing them he had the clowns trapped, including Mad Maxwell. It would be great if they could just take them all out in one big blast. If it didn't work, well then, it's going to be ugly. Tons of civilia
n deaths and then having to still round up the clowns. They gave an ETA of two hours to have a task force in Odessa. They'd be coming by helicopter so not as long as it could have been.

  He hung up the phone just as a blast sounded, shaking the ground. Only the west corner of the building collapsed with the explosion. Within a few minutes, there was another blast on the back side. This was not how it was supposed to go. Damien ran toward Sutton.

  "What the hell is that? You said he knew what he was doing?" Damien said.

  "He assured me the whole building would go up at once. I think some of the charges didn't fire."

  "Yeah, I can see that. Jesus fucking Christ!"

  Damien watched the gaping hole in the building as the dust around it settled. Clowns emerged from the rubble as officers opened fire. There was more than just a handful of clowns running out. There were at least a dozen, maybe more. Kate had been busy in there.

  The parking lot descended into chaos as the sounds of screaming and gunfire rang out. Damien ducked behind his car, knowing it was futile to fight those clowns head to head with a handgun. He watched as the clowns ran and overtook one officer after another. He looked up in the sky hoping beyond hope this Jericho Task force was flying in, but no such luck. Damien looked around, wondering where Nolan had run off to or if the clowns had gotten to him.

  Looking to the right answered his question. Nolan was running across the street at a full sprint. Damien didn't blame him, but no telling how far he'd get. If these clowns got out of here, the whole town was fucked. Damien watched as Captain Sutton retrieved an AR-15 from his car and began firing at the mob. The Captain even hit one of his own men in the barrage. A small clown leaped on to the top of Sutton's car and dove on him. The clown thing bit into his face, ripping flesh off in a huge bloody chunk.

  The next bite took one of Sutton's eyeballs. Damien climbed into his car, started the engine and threw the car in reverse hightailing it out of the parking lot as fast as he could. He did a one-hundred-eighty degree turn and sped away. Once down the road, he stopped and pulled up next to Nolan and signaled for him to climb in. Nolan jumped in; his face was almost as pale as the clowns.

  "You ok?" Damien asked.

  "What just happened?" Nolan asked.

  "All hell just broke loose."

  "Yeah I see that. God we are so fucked."

  "Maybe not. I called my headquarters. They got a task force on the way who has dealt with these clowns before. They can lay them to waste."

  "I hope so. Can you take me to the airport in Midland? I'm going back to L.A."

  "Not sure we can make it on time. These clowns are going to tear through this town."

  "Exactly. No reason for me to stay around. I'm not a cop or FBI agent, I'm an actor. Just get me the fuck out of here," Nolan said.

  "Unfortunately, I'm not leaving just yet. So unless you got another ride, you're stuck here for a bit."

  Behind them, there was an explosion. Damien looked in the review mirror to see a large plume of smoke and flame.

  "Jesus Christ. They are going to tear this town apart," Damien said.

  "You sure you don't want to get us out of here?"

  "No, we're staying." Damien pulled into a hotel parking lot where people were coming outside to see what the commotion was. Damien parked and waved his FBI ID at the group.

  "Stay calm everyone. I recommend you all go back inside," he said looking up again. Last thing he wanted to do was get stuck in a confrontation with the clowns being outmanned and outgunned. Part of him felt guilty for running, but nothing he could have done back there except for get himself killed like the rest of the cops. Tires squealed just down the street, as Damien looked he saw a pickup truck filled with clowns in the back racing by. Two of them jumped out of the back of the truck and ran into the restaurant across the street.

  "Everyone get inside!" Damien yelled. "Go now! Lock all the doors!" He ran in with the crowd, Nolan behind him as screaming sounded from the restaurant. People ran outside covered in blood. One clown was chasing them carrying a chainsaw. The engine revved as one hapless victim tripped and fell. The clown ran up and cut him in half with the crude weapon. Blood and bone chunks shot into the air as the clown laughed wildly.

  "Jesus fucking Christ," Damien said as he turned back toward the hotel, ran inside and locked the door.

  "Who are those guys?" one person asked.

  "We need to form a prayer circle," one woman said. "Ask God to protect us from those demons."

  "Prayer won't help lady," Damien said. "Those aren't demons; those are clowns. And God is scared of clowns."

  Chapter 19

  About thirty miles east of Odessa, Texas U.S. Army Colonel Hal Goldbrick stood on the hill looking down at the training exercises. This was one of the largest exercises for the United States Army Special Operations Command. Training operation dubbed Operation Jade Helm, had been met with much opposition from the locals. In twenty-two years of service, it had been the craziest thing Goldbrick had ever seen.

  They'd done similar operations for years. For some reasons only known to God, some of the local people thought Jade Helm was a trap for the Army to be on stand by for the president to declare martial law. Apparently, they were supposed to take over Texas and seize people's guns.

  Now there were a few problems with this theory. When the Colonel first heard about it, his first words to his executive officer were "Take over Texas? The United States already has Texas! What the hell are these people talking about?"

  From there it was meetings, briefings, and even town hall meetings. Goldbrick had to sit and listen to a city hall room full of people grill him on how will he promise the Army isn't invading Texas. He wasn't sure he got through to anyone. The thing is, how do you guarantee something like that to someone who even think that way? He just repeated himself until they got tired of listening. None of it mattered. The mission was a go, and here they were.

  Currently, he was watching a group of Rangers airdrop into a small canyon while tanks rolled nearby. He watched as things were mostly going smoothly when the first explosion sounded. It wasn't enough to shake the ground, but it got is attention. From the hill, he turned and looked through his binoculars.

  "What the hell was that?" he asked as he saw the plume of smoke rising above Odessa.

  "What is it, sir?" Captain Royce asked from his left. He was the Colonel's executive officer.

  "There was an explosion; I can see the smoke. What was that?" Before he could look away, the second explosion sounded.

  "Fuck me!" Goldbrick said.

  "Yeah, I heard that," Royce said.

  "Get everyone together. We're going to take a caravan into town." Goldbrick ordered.

  "Sir? You think that's a great idea? They already thought we were going to invade. If they see us all rolling in."

  "Listen to me. Either that was a bomb or some explosive, and even if it wasn't there are still going to be people in need of medical attention. We have medics and supplies they can use. So we are checking it out."

  "Roger that sir," Royce said as he ran off to follow his instructions. Goldbrick walked down the trail and to his Humvee. He sat for around twenty minutes while waiting for a group of Humvees and five-ton trucks get lined up with troops. He ordered the helicopters to stay behind for now as well as the tanks. He didn't want to freak completely out the town.

  Finally, they were ready to move. The drive took a good twenty to thirty minutes. He wasn't happy with how long all of this was taking, but they were a large combat force. Not something to be mobilized like a police department in just a few minutes. All things considered, they were making pretty good time. When they rolled into town, he feared he'd be greeted by some angry folks afraid they were in fact invading.

  What he saw instead, he was in no way prepared. The entire town of Odessa was in complete chaos. There were people running through the streets screaming. Some were shooting in the direction of the explosion. It wasn't until they were almost downtown whe
n he saw them. The clowns. Dozens of people dressed as clowns were running through the street attacking people. Some had clubs or knives they were using for the attack.

  One girl clown was running around, lifting her skirt and jumping on people.

  "What in the hell?" he said to no one in particular.

  "Sir, is this some kind of circus or festival?" Royce asked.

  "Did you just see that clown cut that guy's head off?" Goldbrick replied. "What the fuck kind of circus beheads people?"

  "You think its terrorists?"

  "Beats the hell out of me. I will tell you we are not going to sit around and let a bunch of clowns kill Americans."

  "Where's the police?" Royce asked.

  That question was answered when several clowns in police uniforms ran by. One had a handgun over his head and firing wildly.

  "That's it. Stop right here. Order all the troops into squads and to split up." Goldbrick said. "I'll call Washington and tell them what is going on here. Get some actual emergency crews here. Fucking terrorist clowns. Are you fucking kidding me?" he said as Royce jumped out and carried out his orders. He climbed out of the Humvee and checked his sidearm.

  So far none of the clowns had paid them any attention. However, he did get someone's attention.

  "Look! I knew it!" a civilian man nearby yelled. "Jade Helm! Jade Helm is here!" the man was on a street corner with an AR-15 slung over his shoulder. The civilian was wearing a camouflage jacket, jeans, and a Dallas Cowboys ball cap. He took out a walkie-talkie and began screaming into it. Goldbrick tried to ignore him as he walked toward the back of the convoy with his men. Behind him, he heard more screaming. There were several other civilian men with AR-15's, but these guys were carrying them at the ready. They were all dressed in camouflage, one of them even had on camo face paint.